You Don't Know What You've Got Til Its Gone

For at least the last five years I have been fortunate enough to have my sister live less than 5 minutes away and my parents just 2 hours away, so I can see my family whenever I want or need to.  In less than 3 weeks, that is all going to change. It is almost like leaving home for college all over again (except that this time my life partner is waiting for me in AZ).

This past weekend was the last time the four of us would be together until probably Thanksgiving.  We had a really great, relaxing weekend together. We set up Skype accounts and talked about when everyone could visit AZ.

My mom pulled out some essays she found that Stinker had written in high school.  Her narrative essay was written right after she had returned from dropping me off to start my freshman year of college. Prior to me leaving for college, we fought constantly and pretty much couldn't stand each other starting in middle school. However, that all changed once I was away at college and it has been (mostly*) smooth sailing ever since.

*With the exception of snowmageddon after which we could no longer live together.

Yesterday Erikka read her high school essay out loud to my mom and me.  It is amazing how so many of the feelings she articulated in her essay are back again for both of us, now that I am moving across the country.  Stinker wrote "I honestly do believe the saying, 'You don't know what you have until it is gone' because I never appreciated how much my sister meant to me. I now realize how lucky I am to have someone who genuinely cares for me and with whom I can share everything: all my ups and downs, secrets and problems in my life."

That was 1999.  It is amazing how things can come full circle.  And I feel the exact same way. I am going to really miss my parents and close friends, but more than anything, I am going to miss my sister. I am going to miss our impromptu dinners together,  her cooking, our early morning trips to eastern market, our fro-yo runs, her acting like she can't stand Benny when in fact we know she secretly adores him, her criticizing my "assertive" driving skills, her always messy apartment, her no bullshit attitude and her sensitivity.

Fourteen years later, it is my chance to tell you, Stinker, that even though you too can sometimes be your "bossy self" (as was noted in the original essay), I feel the love that only a sister relationship can have.  I am finding it hard to imagine just what my life will be like without you 5 minutes away and how different my life will be soon. Thank you for always listening, counseling and being a great sister.

We now have the benefits of Skype, Facetime and unlimited minutes and data, so that takes a little of the sting away. But I have taken our proximity for granted and am going to desperately miss having you right around the corner. I am really looking forward to our road trip and am putting my money on us still speaking when we arrive in Scottsdale. Love you always Stink.